By Deborah Cano
Originally posted April 12, 2022
I was looking for something. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I did know it needed to be spiritual and to keep my attention. Something about yoga kept drawing me back. After I had attended a few hatha yoga classes at our Center, I realized how much I enjoyed and needed to move my body. I was intrigued. I could engage my body and I could also take yoga deeper to quench my spiritual thirst.
When I attended my first Hidden Language Hatha Yoga class it wasn’t what I had expected. The poses were there, but they were fewer with a much deeper focus on one or two. In addition, our teacher began to ask us our observations about the pose and how we might relate it to our own situations. Usually, when I was asked a question, I expected to find an answer fairly quickly. With Hidden Language, the answers were not always readily available. I had to search for these answers, as I had no idea how to “really” listen to my body or who I was beneath my survival skills and projected self. The process felt awkward at first. But at the same time, I also thought “so this is how yoga can be used as a spiritual tool”.
I kept at it and gradually I became more comfortable with the process. I sometimes felt impatient with my body, but at least I was getting to know and spend time with her. After practicing Hidden Language for a few years, I realized that it was okay if I didn’t learn something about myself immediately during class time. I came to understand that it might take awhile before an insight about a pose became apparent. Sometimes, it might be a week or two after a class when I had an awareness about myself that was related to the pose. I learned that as long as I continued to listen and practice patience, my awareness would come gradually.
I have realized that the spiritual tool of yoga does not bring quick answers. Self-awareness is a process, not an outcome. The practices do work. The growth is slow which allows for depth and grace. I am not the same person I was when I started. I have learned to embrace my experiences and my process. And I am especially learning to know myself.